PAPERLESS
No Printer Needed
Paper is Dead
No printer needed with Paperless - Embrace the digital revolution and leave paper in the past where it belongs.
Why Go Paperless?
Save the Trees
Every sheet of paper you don't print is a tree that gets to live another day. Think of it as environmental karma, but with better returns than your 401k.
Printers Are Evil
Printers are basically expensive paperweights that only work when you don't need them. They smell fear and jam at the worst possible moments.
Ink Costs More Than Gold
Printer ink is literally more expensive per ounce than champagne, caviar, and sometimes even human blood. That's not a business model, that's highway robbery.
The Paper Problem
Remember when we thought the internet would create a 'paperless society'? Well, that was a lie bigger than "this meeting could have been an email." Instead, we somehow managed to print MORE stuff because now we could print emails too.
The paper industry has been playing the long game, convincing us that digital documents aren't "real" unless they're printed. It's like saying a song isn't real unless it's on vinyl, except vinyl is actually cool and paper just gives you papercuts.
Paperless isn't just a token - it's a movement. A rebellion against the paper overlords who have convinced us that killing trees and buying overpriced ink is somehow necessary for productivity.
Join the Digital Revolution
Every time you choose digital over paper, you're not just being environmentally conscious - you're striking a blow against Big Ink, the most profitable scam since extended car warranties.
Digital documents don't jam, don't run out of toner at 2 AM, and don't require you to sacrifice a small forest every time you need to print a boarding pass. They're searchable, shareable, and they don't yellow with age like your hopes and dreams.
Welcome to the future. It's paperless, and it's beautiful. No more paper cuts, no more printer rage, no more wondering why cyan is empty when you only print in black and white.